Suicide Note
by OncExUpoNxAxNightwisH
Summary: Based on the historical event when Cao Pi ordered Zhen Ji to commit suicide. pairing:CPxZJ


Tears poured down her face. She couldn't believe it. Her beloved husband has ordered her to commit suicide, saying that he didn't want to see her again, saying that she was no use to him, never was and never will be and that she is nothing more than a pretty face. Her heart hurt. How could he say this? She loved him, more than words could ever say, she did anything he asked her too, without hesitation and this is how he thanks her! By ordering her to commit suicide! She didn't want to believe it. How could he do this too her? Was it that evil Lady Guo's fault? Does she have him wrapped around her finger so much that she can make him order her too commit suicide? Does she hate her that much? She never liked the fact that he had other wives, she didn't like them either. She should be his only wife! He married her first and she actually loves him! Can he not see that? Is he blind? Her tears splashed down onto the letter she held in her hands. The letter telling her what her fate is, what he wants her to do, what she has to do, what she does not want to do. She put it down and grabbed a piece of paper, a quill and ink. She wrote down her suicide note. 'Explaining' why has decided to end her life. She finishes writing and reads what she wrote.

_Dear Cao Pi and Wei_

_I, Zhen Ji, have decided to end my life_

_I cannot live anymore. The hidden pain inside me is overwhelming_

_I know this is known as the cowards way out, but it is my only choice_

_I'm sorry that it has to be this way_

_I love you all and will miss you dearly_

_I'll be waiting for you all in the afterlife_

_Have good lives and defeat Shu and Wu_

_Good luck_

_Zhen Ji_

She hoped it sounded convincing. Tears still pouring down her face, she gets up and hides the letter. Turning back to her desk she grabs her suicide note and walks out. She gets to the front hall and folds the paper in half and leaves it on a table. Sighing she walks outside and heads towards the river. Standing at the waters edge, she gets closer. Her feet in the cool water. This is where it is all going to end. She doesn't want it to be this way. But she has no other choice. She closes her eyes and breathes in her last breathe of fresh air and throws herself into the river.

* * *

Cao Pi awakes from his trance. Memories make their way back into his mind. Zhen Ji, the letter. He jumps up in panic realizing what he's done. He runs out and jumps on his horse and starts making his way towards the palace where Zhen Ji is. Praying that he's not too late.

* * *

Zhen Ji pulls herself out of the lake. Her lungs burning. She can't end her life this way, she gets up and walks back towards the palace, wondering how Lady Sun found the courage to end her life that way. Walking in she grabs the note and makes her way to her bedroom. she dries herself off and changes. All the time, thinking about an alternative way to end her life. Finally she figures out what she's going to do. It may be just as painful, but in a way. It will be like she'll be dieing on the battle field. Like the warrior that she is.

'I'm not much of warrior. A true warrior would fight this, but here I am. Been a coward. Killing myself, like I've been told to. Rather than fighting this.' She thinks.

She gets to the weapons closet and grabs her husbands weapons. Smiling she thinks.

'He's basically killing me anyway, might as well do it with his weapon.'

She holds the blade to her heart. She swallows and starts shaking.

'I can't do this.' She says. 'He may want me to, he may of ordered me to. But I cannot end my life.'

She sighs. Tears start pouring down her face again.

'But I have to. It is as he ordered and I could never disobey him. Even if his orders are stupid.'

She holds the blade back to her chest. She sobs.

'Come on Zhen Ji. You can do it. You've ended lives before. Why should now be any different?' She says, attempting to encourage herself.

She sobs again.

* * *

Cao Pi reaches the palace and jumps off his horse. He has to find her, before it's too late. He runs to her bedroom. She's not there.

'Where are you Zhen?'

Turning around he runs out and searches around. It occurs to him that she might be in the weapon closet. Quickly he makes his way there. Getting closer to his destination. Hoping that she is there and that she hasn't done the deed yet.

'Please be ok. Please. If you're not, I'll never forgive myself.' He says.

He bursts through the door. He sees her standing there with his weapon at her heart.

'Come it watch!?' She sobs.

'Zhen, please put the weapon down.'

'Why, so you can kill me yourself?! Do you want me dead that much?!' She cries.

Tears start filling his eyes as he watches her. His one true love about to end her life.

'I don't want you dead. I'd never want that. I love you Zhen, more than you know.'

'Then why have you ordered me to commit suicide? Cause everyone really orders the person they love more than anything else to kill themselves!'

Cao Pi opened his mouth but nothing came out. It was like his voice had just suddenly disappeared. Zhen Ji watched him with teary eyes.

'You can't even answer me. You know that I'm right. You can't even deny that.' She scoffed. She pressed the tip of the blade to her chest, drawing blood. Cao Pi watched the blood trickle out of her in horror.

'Zhen don't. Please don't. I love you. Please believe me.'

He sounded desperate. He took a step closer to her, she moved back.

'Get away from me, you…you…you worthless piece of shit.' She hissed.

Her words hurt him. He took a step back.

'Your words hurt me Zhen. But I deserve them. After what I told you to do. But you have to believe me. I was under a spell. I don't want you to die. If I want anyone of my wives dead, it's Lady Guo. The one that made me do this.'

'I knew it. She has you wrapped around her finger.'

'That's not true.'

'I hope you both rot in hell!'

'Zhen!'

Cao Pi started panicking. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want her to die.

'Please. Zhen, you are the only one I love. I don't love any of my other wives. I promise that I'll divorce them. I still divorce them if you kill yourself.'

'You're just saying that.'

'No I'm not. I've been a fool. I didn't realize that you're my one true love. I was scared so I married others to try and hide it. Zhen I was a fool. But I see the error of my ways. I want to correct them. Please give me, give us another chance. Don't end your life. Not here, not now, not ever. Cause if you do. Then I won't be able to live either. I'll end my life. I can't live without you Zhen. You are what makes me whole.'

Zhen Ji was touched by his words.

'Your words are sweet. But I fear that you don't truly mean them. That you are only saying them to make me lower my weapon.'

'You know me Zhen. I would never say such a thing that shows my feelings without truly meaning them.'

Zhen Ji knew this was true. She dropped the weapon and fell to the ground in tears. Cao Pi rushed over to her and cradled her in his arms.

'I'm sorry Zhen. I'm so sorry. I love you so much. Please forgive me.'

She wiped away her tears and looked up at him.

'I believe your words Cao Pi and forgive you. I love you so much. More than words could ever say.'

Say sat in silence just looking at each other.

'I better go get my suicide note before someone finds it.'

'Yes. You should. I'll come with you.'

He stood up and extended a hand. She took it and he pulled her up and led her out of the weapons closet.

'Where is the note?'

'In the front hall.'

They made their way there and grabbed the note thankful that no one had found it.

'Lets burn this.' He said.

She nodded in agreement and smiled at him again. They walked to her room and threw the paper in the fire and watched it burn. Knowing that nothing could ever tear them apart.


End file.
